I'm speaking the truth about my most negative comments from labor and delivery nurses. This is not an "us vs. them" culture! + video
What's my most common pushback?
The most common pushback I get, as a trauma-informed nurse, parent educator and content creator is “you’re scaring people”. And “you’re creating an us vs. them mentality”. Have you heard that? The part that might be surprising to hear is that this negative feedback or disgust almost exclusively comes from Labor and Delivery nurses and OBs.
What’s not shocking to most folks, though, is that these issues exist independent of my education and content in the online space.
It’s why most of my birth planning clients are second-time parents:
Once they experience what it’s really like, they often feel tricked, pushed, misled, coerced, unsupported or totally let down by their in-hospital birth experience.
I did not make that happen – it already existed.
In my opinion...
Healthcare staff already knows, even if it’s unconsciously, that the system is scary and perpetuates an “us vs. them” mentality. Of course, this is a multi-system problem – the staff are not inherently bad, they don’t go into healthcare with bad intentions. (Hello! I’m one of them! Check out the Trauma-Informed Birth Nurse Program if you are too!)
They truly do want to help care for and support their patients. They’re part of a for-profit, lean manufacturing, corrupt, corporate medicine system, whose bottom line is profit, but who just call it and label it different things like “health care” and “patient safety”.
Why Do I Bring This Stuff To Light?
When I bring these uncomfortable, behind-the-scenes truths to light – like using Johnson & Johnson Baby Shampoo as lube (see my videos below!) and other parts about the labor and birth system in my TikTok videos – I think I’m just highlighting an insecurity that many medical professionals already have about the harm that they are a part of.
My goal is not to point out individuals and point fingers – it’s actually the opposite.
I actually love the conversation that's created between healthcare professionals and parents in online spaces! When we can look at individual actions, “policies” and the way things are just done inside of the healthcare system objectively as well as outside of that healthcare system and outside of the culture in your unit, I think that we can get a different new perspective on the harm, the human rights violations, the coercion, & all of that stuff that goes on. I’m not creating it - I'm just naming it.
I’ll say I never, ever get complaints from parents saying I am giving out too much information!
Birth care in the US is like a secret society. It’s kept under wraps and very hard for parents to really understand what their labor room might be like, what their staff might be like, and what everyone thinks about birth plans. It’s all messy and parents don’t really know what to expect.
Either way, however you are feeling,
- whether you’re grateful for the info
- or you’re feeling a little put off by it,
I’m so glad you’re here and so glad you’re listening.
I’m so grateful for this community and for the conversations that we can have online. Introduce yourself in the comments! And thanks for being here!
I’m a Labor & Delivery nurse with over a decade of bedside experience.
- Do you want help sorting through all the shtuff?
- Do you want to learn more about trauma-informed education?
Join the conversation on TikTok!
One Response
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