*SALE ends Friday* Trauma-Informed Lactation for Perinatal Nurses

Number One Question

The Number One Question To Ask When Looking For Trauma-Informed Care In Labor & Delivery + videos

Why are you staying with your current OBGYN?

Raise your hand if you stayed with your current OBGYN after you got pregnant, just because it was easier and they already knew you and you knew them. Because they were familiar.  Anyone? If you’re pregnant and getting ready to have a baby soon, then hopefully you’re educating yourself. You’re here, right? (And hopefully you’re on my Tiktok watching Birth Boldly videos and labor tips and how to understand consent and your rights and human rights and labor and MORE!)  

If you are doing all that, awesome!  But that also means that you might be getting some red flags in your appointments and/or you have some questions that you’re not sure you want to ask your provider because you’re not sure you want the answer. 

I recently got this question on my Tiktok from a follower:

The thought of changing providers is S-C-A-R-Y! I know, because I've been in that situation. When thinking about changing providers, you don't know how someone else is going to treat you, what their office is going to be like, what their nurse or tech is going to be like, or if there is even is someone better out there for you.

Have you ever considered that another reason why this provider might feel familiar to you is because their patterns of abuse and mistreatment are familiar?

Please hear this: 

If your provider is shaming or blaming you for your feelings, your feelings are absolutely valid and on the right track that this provider is not the right one for you!  

The powerful question I am suggesting (keep reading!) can be asked before you even meet a provider, which can save you a lot of time, money and headache.

It also saves you disappointment because it’s really discouraging to meet with someone that you’ve heard will listen to you and care for you, and then you get in there and they end up not.

This question (we are almost there!) was asking specifically about sexual assault survivors but can be used for any sort of trauma or negative history with healthcare professionals because trauma-informed care should be the basis and foundation of all health care. 

But HOW Do You Find A Gynecologist That Really Gets You and is Trauma-Informed?

👇 Here is what you have been waiting for! 👇

 1) Ask this question before meeting a healthcare provider:

What is the trauma-informed care framework on which you practice?

  • A trauma-informed provider understands trauma enough to know NOT to shame or blame you for your individual choices. 
  • A trauma-informed system or approach understands the impact of trauma, understands potential paths for recovery, and actively resists re-traumatization.  If your provider can’t answer this question for you, then you need to find one who can.

2) If you are looking for a doula, be sure to check out The Fearless Birth Delivered Labor and Birth Quick Guide (click on the picture above to hear more about it!) that I co-wrote with my partner who’s also a doula and childbirth educator.  It’s a 25 page PDF guide with questions and pro-tips and talks about the questions you ask: 

  • your healthcare provider
  • your lactation provider
  • your pediatrician  

You can get this guide as an add-on with my 25 Labor Positions flipbook!

labor and birth flip book 2.0

If you’re pregnant – I will tell you everything I know!  

Childbirth deserves our attention!  You can hear more about trauma-informed birth strategy for parents & nurses from me on TikTok.   

Click below 👇 to join the conversation!   

Picture of Mandy Irby
Mandy Irby
Mandy Irby is a board-certified labor nurse with 13 years of experience supporting survivors of assault and trauma through pregnancy, birth planning, and at their bedside during childbirth and pregnancy loss. Mandy is an international educator through her online, on-demand childbirth ed classes and community exclusively for nurses to shed the shame and powerlessness they feel to change the very system L&D nurses were setup to fail in. She's passionate about shaping the future of nursing to improve childbirth outcomes! As a creative educator, Mandy co-authored Amazon best-seller, Baby Got VBAC.  Many know her through her wildly popular, tongue-in-cheek social media platforms.

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2 Responses

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